Texas Chainsaw 3D Review: It Makes No Sense At All

SPOILERS

Now, I haven’t watched this movie since it came out, but I’ve been bothered by it since I saw it. See, I’m a slasher fan and I went to see Texas Chainsaw (I didn’t see it in 3D, I think 3D is stupid) and I was really hoping to like it. I started off good with the Sawyers being killed by an angry mob of vigilantes, one of them taking one of the Sawyer’s baby. The child is raised into the young girl Heather (Alexandra Daddario) into modern times. There’s our first problem right there. Alexandra was in her late 20s when that movie came out and Texas Chainsaw Massacre was made in 1974, even if she was a baby at the time, she still would’ve been closer to 40, and she wasn’t. That’s a mistake right there. Anywho, she learns that she’s inherited a house from an aunt, now, we know that her adopted parents sucked, but she goes and finds out about her real family. When they arrive, her best friend screws her boyfriend when she wasn’t looking, it’s important. They discover Leatherface living in the basement, and he kills her friends and she escapes. She tells the police, and the mayor, who was the leader of the angry mob back then. The mayor and the sheriff discuss Leatherface, or Jed Sawyer, his real name and leave Heather alone with the police file.

This is where it takes a turn that doesn’t make any sense. She reads it and learns of her lineage, and instead of being disgusted that she’s from a family of crazy cannibals who kill and eat people for no reason, she gets away and writes “murderers” on one of the pictures. WTF! Who are the real murderers?! The family of cannibals who kill and eat people for no reason or the angry mob who killed the cannibalistic family?! I mean, I don’t condone vigilante violence, but I wouldn’t side with the cannibals. And then, to make things worse, she talks to the lawyer who gave her the house, he explains that Leatherface is her cousin. And after that, she feels perfectly fine that he just killed her friends and boyfriend. It’s almost like:

Heather: “Oh my god, a chainsaw wielding maniac wearing a human face for a mask killed my friends.”

Lawyer: “He’s your cousin.”

Heather: “Oh that makes it okay.”

And then at the end, she and Leatherface team up, throwing him his chainsaw saying “Do your thing cous!” and kill the mayor. She decides to stay with Leatherface, care for him and he will protect her.

I mean, the concept makes sense. But the could’ve written a better reason as to why she would side the cannibals and Leatherface after he killed her friends. I mean, I know her boyfriend was cheating on her with her best friend. But she didn’t know that. The only way could’ve known, was when they’re running from Leatherface and noticed that her boyfriend was shirtless and her friend was pantsless and wearing her boyfriend’s shirt. But how can you notice when you’re running from a chainsaw wielding maniac wearing a human face for a mask? I mean seriously, were her adopted parents that bad to her that she reflects more with a family of cannibals? I mean, what the hell? Doesn’t make any sense at all.

Again, could’v worked if it was flushed out better, but it wasn’t, it didn’t make a muck of sense.

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